I am here for two months before i head back up north. I have this morning before practice.....looking for a woman to enjoy the morning with. Can be married or single, disease free is important. I am 5'9" 180 short hair and blue eyes, in shape, of course.
It may or may not be Ryan Freel, who does fit the description. Of course, it could be a prank played by one of his teammates in which case they should win some kind of award - this is no shaving cream pie or hot foot.
Anyway, it got me thinking that Craigslist and personals ads could be an effective way for a variety of athletes to find what they are looking for. Here are some examples.
SBM, 23, is seeking fine ass bitches to dance on my at-home stripper pole while I "make it rain" (with Monopoly money - I learn from my mistakes muthfucka). See, I got to do it at my pad because I think I might be wearing some ankle jewelery real soon. Oh, and you need to like saliva too. That shit's gotta turn you on.
Hit me up: email@example.com
SEWMM (single-eyed white male member) belonging to semi-famous football "anal-yst" . . . looking for a SF to tell me I look good and bald is beautiful . . . I have a flexible schedule - hit me up and I'll rise to the occasion.
E-mail me: firstname.lastname@example.org
BM late 30s . . . I recently had an "incident" that was very embarrassing for my family . . . I said I hated all gay people. I feel like I've learned something and I really want to meet some butt pirates and learn about their culture. But let me tell you queers something. I'm not a flamer and I don't want any of you homos touching me. If any of you fairies try to go brokeback on me, I'll kill you. I really feel like I can grow from this if just meet some real fudgepackers.
Email me: TinRunTMC@Lebatardbaitedme.com
MWM seeks woman who . . . COULD! GO! ALL! THE! WAY! You prefer leather apparel of all kinds and like having coke snorted off your ass.
Email me: BoomerBerman@alumni.Brown.edu
Isn't that fun? Collect them all. Feel free to add your own in the comments.