Gifted Athletes: Natalee & Dontrelle

Welcome to "Gifted Athletes," a new segment here at 55 Problems. Recently, our friends at Deadspin have posted links to the wedding registry of athletes about to get hitched. We missed the gravy boat on Tracy McGrady and his bride, but we're going to do our best from here on out. Enjoy.

This edition of Gifted Athletes features none other than high-kicking, fire-balling, flat-brimmed, cap-askew, Florida Marlins pitcher, Dontrelle Willis and his bride-to-be Natalee.

Figuring out what to get talented, young, extremely rich people can be quite a chore. I considered seeking a solution for Dontrelle's ass-nipple (see picture below) but ultimately decided on something more conventional.

In this case, we chose the Tools Of The Trade Commercial Measuring Cups pictured above. I can attest to the high quality of these measuring cups as I happen to own the very same ones. In fact, I bought them as a Christmas present for my ex-wife. Insert your own joke here.

We hope that Natalee and Dontrelle enjoy their measuring cups and, of course, their marriage. Congratulations!

NOTE: This isn't just make believe - we really are buying these gifts. We chose the gift box option on the Macy's site and this message went with the gift:

Dear Natalee & Dontrelle,
Congratulations and best wishes!
Sincerely, 55 Problems (doublenicks.blogspot.com)

Also, now that we're buying wedding gifts for people we don't know, we're makign a solemn vow to really, really, try to do a better job getting wedding gifts for people we do know.