The Michael Irvin Experiment

If you happened to be listening to The Dan Patrick Show on ESPN Radio or caught the report from The Big Lead, then you know that apparently, former All-Pro wide receiver, experienced drug (ab)user, current retarded NFL studio analyst, and black man, has pulled a Jimmy "The Greek" Snyder.

During a discussion of the Cowboys-Colts game last Sunday, specifically the play of new Dallas QB and Daisy Duke heart-throb Tony Romo, Irvin reach deep into experience as an NFL player and analyst to come up with the this explanation for Romo's athleticism:

“… [there must be] some brothers in that line somewhere … (laughs) somewhere there are some brothers … I don’t know who saw what, where …. [maybe] his great, great, great, great Grandma ran over in the hood or something went down … (more laughs)”

You can listen to the clip here (it's the 6th link down), at least until ESPN buries the evidence.

I don't know if Irvin should or will get fired, suspended, reprimanded over this, but I can't wait to see the fall out, or lack of it. The reaction to this will be very telling and the situation is the perfect petri dish in which to determine if the media - both ESPN and everyone else - is upholding a double standard when it comes to racists statements.

This isn't about whether or not slave owners bred their slaves to create superior physical specimens. Suggesting that is what got Jimmy The Greek fired and vilified nearly 20 years ago. For me, it's about perpetuating stereotypes and even worse, taking something away from accomplished athletes by turning it into a biology conversation. What Irvin said, unintentionally or not, turned Romo's success into genetics instead of the countless hours of work he has undoubtedly logged to get where he is today. This is the same crap as when Larry Bird was always referred to as a "smart player" while Dr. J was a "great athlete."

The fact of the matter is, some of these guys can run faster and jump higher than others. Some of them are black, some are not. Some people are tireless workers, while others rely on physical gifts. But in the end, everyone you see on the field on Saturday and Sunday, or the basketball court or baseball diamond, is a phenomenal athlete that got where they are through a ton of sweat.

So Michael Irvin saying yet another dumb thing, is in essence insulting Romo's effort and his family. Maybe Romo's great-great-great grandma did "pull one of them studs out of the barn" but maybe she didn't and get this: it's possible that great athletic genes can come from white people too.

I think the thing that gets me really fired up about this - aside from Irvin being a jackass - is that I don't expect anything to happen to Irvin. And I suspect if Dan Patrick had said the same thing, he would have faced serious consequences. The idea that it's OK to saying something about a race because you are of that race, is ridiculous. And for Irvin, it's irresponsible. But I guess not any more irresponsible than the hookers and crack. So there's that.

So get ready for nothing to happen. But if there is backlash, you can bet U alum/apologist Dan LeBatard will be right there to explain why it was OK for Irvin to say what he said.

Notes From Night 1 of the Free Trial of NBA Season Pass

For the last few years, one of the best parts of November is that in conjunction with the start of the NBA season, DISH Network has a week-long free trial of the NBA Season Pass. After flipping through close to a dozen games, $180 for the season doesn't seem so bad. I'm holding out for now but I'm not sure I'll be able to last the entire trial without hitting the "buy" button.

Anyway, on to what I saw with my channel flipping in not particular order . . .

1. Amare Stoudemire looks pretty damn good for a guy playing on one leg. ESPN showed a graphic of other notable players who had microfracture surgery and about half of them never really returned to the level they were at before surgery. Talented players like Terrell Brandon, Kerry Kittles, Anfernee Hardaway all had their promising careers derailed by the same surgery Stoudemire had. However, that Stoudemire is so young has to work in his favor and in some perverse way, I can almost see this making him a better basketball player. In the first half of the game against the Clips tonight, he dominated and he only tried to dunk once (which he missed). While he works to get his knee back to pre-surgery, I suspect he will learn lots of the veteran tricks of the trade and he will have to rely on skills over athleticism. It's a transition most players go through - you saw it with people like Dr. J and Jordan, and you can already see a hint of it with LeBron. Anyway, Amare looks strong so far and I hope he keeps it up and stays healthy.
2. Is the new ball messing with free throws? Lebron already started his free throw line slide last season but he started the 2006-2007 campaign an unimpressive 2-6 from the stripe. Solid free throw shooter Rip Hamilton was 4-6 before finishing 9-12. Career 79% shooter Paul Pierce was 7-15. U-G-L-Y.
3. Meanwhile, all stop and bow to free throw guru Don Nelson. By announcing that playing time would be given out based on who could hit free throws, 67% career shooter Baron Davis shot nearly 90% in the preseason and is 6-8 from the line through three quarters tonight.
4. If my jumpshot looked as ugly and bricked as hard as Shawn Marion's, I would hide it from the public. Marion is an outstanding player and his three point shooting percentage is respectable but he is 10 times the threat inside 18 feet than he is outside it - not to mention the fact that in Steve Nash, Leandro Barbosa, James Jones - not to mention the Polish Rifle, Eric Piatkowski - the Suns have a couple guys who can shoot it from deep.
5. Despite stealing the font from the previous generation of Houston Rockets uniforms, the Milwaukee Bucks new unis look pretty sweet . . . even on human chihuahua Charlie Villenueva.
6. Apparently there is no one that can stop Lakers Lamar Odom and Andrew Bynum . . . except Kobe. I can't wait to see how that blows up when the Black Mamba returns (although I'm sure Kobe scoring 40 over and over again will be part of the plot).
7. Shockingly, the Bulls run at 82-0 was ended. During game two. Against Orlando. I still think the Bulls are a high-energy, deep team but perhaps all the breathlessness after their squashing of the defending champs on opening night was a little premature. I still think they are a very good team but they have no go-to guy which will hurt them down the road. This is probably the time when they should go get The Big Ticket - when they can trade three young talents and not even miss them.
8. Rookies are making a strong showing. Tyrus Thomas sat out tonight's game after breaking his nose in a solid debut last night and teammate Thabo Sefolosha is averaging 12 ppg in his first two games. Adam Morrison scored 14 in 32 minutes off the bench - and didn't cry (at least not while I was watching). Laptop thief Marcus Williams had 7 points, 8 boards and 8 dimes for the Nets. Rudy Gay scored 21 and grabbed 8 rebounds off the bench - not that there's anything wrong with that - and the infamous Renaldo Balkman had 4 boards in 8 minutes. Brandon Roy scored 20 as a starter for the Blazers.

This just in . . . neither Stephen Jackson or Sebastian Telfair shot anyone (or had anyone shot) last night. As far as I know.

Why I Love Football

I love football. But not the football you're probably thinking of. I love the football that millions of people around the world love. My "world champions" aren't from a 32-team field watched by 130 million people, but from a 32-team field of athletes representing their country. How many viewers? Close to 30 BILLION.

Why am I willing to wake up as early as 7 am on a Saturday morning to watch a match halfway around the world? Sure, soccer players are just as nuts as NFL players. Wayne Rooney is a perfect example. Roo-naldo is about half an ear less crazy than Mike Tyson.

But, psychoses aside, soccer is 90 minutes of adrenaline-filled action. It's not 1st down.. pause... 2nd down... pause... 3rd down... etc. It's constant go-go-go. It's not AFC vs. NFC. It's the Premiership, Bundesliga, Serie A, La Liga, and on and on.

Developmental leagues are way beyond minor league affiliates. In the European leagues, the teams in last place get demoted. The teams who finish first in the next level down move up to the big time. Players have to play as a team, otherwise the whole team is penalized. It's not every man for himself.

And the goals... oh... the goals. There's nothing more spectacular than a Rooney half-volley from outside the keeper's box. (ignore the music, someone got a little excited about you-tubin' it) Even the most mundane game has moments of brilliance that keep you on the edge of your seat.

But what truly makes soccer great? The fans! Sure, Oakland has their crazy silver and black bunch who get dressed up and yell and scream. But, do they chant little ditties like:

You are my Solskjaer, (read sol-scar)
My Ole Solskjaer,
You make me happy,
When skies are grey,
And Alan Shearer, Was f*cking dearer,
So Please don't take, My Solskjaer, Away.....

Sing that one to the tune of You Are My Sunshine. Classic. Here's one when Manchester United plays their crosstown rivals, Man City:

If I had the wings of a sparrow,
If I had the arse of a crow,
I'd fly over Maine Road tomorrow,
And shit on the bastards below, below,
Shit on, shit on,
Shit on the bastards below, below,
Shit on, shit on,
Shit on the bastards below.

You're the shit of Manchester,

You're the shit of Manchester.

Quality.

Admittedly, I am a Manchester United fan - for the unschooled, it's like being a Yankees fan. But, as with just about every true soccer fan around the world, I appreciate the joga bonita from every team in every country. It's a uniting factor in so many cultures, something for people to relate to - what could possibly be wrong with that?

For a little extra enjoyment, watch this. Make sure you wait for the music.

Ever Wonder Why Teams/Leagues Struggle?

I think it's because, for the most part, the people who own them are freakin' morons. I've jumped on Steinbrenner before - perhaps even unfairly singling him out. The latest entry in the growing list of moronic owners is the Minnesota Timberwolves' Glen Taylor. He gave an interview to Britt Robson of the Minneapolis/St. Paul City Pages, brilliantly summarized by TrueHoop (so you can skip right to the extra dumb parts).

As I read Taylor's comments I'm struck by one thought . . . Oh. My. God. Shut the hell up! One often overlooked epidemic of modern day sports is that people seem to get into ownership because they are fans and they are attracted to the status and/or the idea of playing fantasy basketball/football/baseball on the highest level. It is increasingly rare to see ownership that is focused on the things a business person should be focused on - building an organization with value, finding better ways to serves your customers, and ultimately, increasing the bottom line (or at least the value of your operation). Some owners win. Some owners increase the bottom line. But the number who do it without mucking around in the personnel side of the business is staggering.

The examples are many and the results are frequently bad: The Atlanta Hawks ownership's civil war, Taylor's under-the-table agreement with Joe Smith, and of course, Steinbrenner (post your favorite George meddling job in the comments . . . Irabu? Contreras?). Daniel Snyder. Mark Cuban. Along with Steinbrenner, both have increased the value of their respective franchises exponentially but you could still argue that inserting themselves in personnel matters has cost their teams on their fields/courts of play.

If I were Kevin McHale, especially because I apparently didn't want this job in the first place and would prefer to drag my knuckles on the forest floor while hunting, I would quit over this. Who likes it when their boss questions - or maybe exposes - their work ethic? Or makes vague comments that could lead someone to believe that you molested male model and part time basketball player Wally Szczerbiak? Or read about how he sold a former employee (Flip Saunders in this case) down the river? Run Kevin! Run!

I'm rambling. All I'm trying to say is this . . . like any other business, if the owner/CEO can find the right people and let them do their jobs, they will be successful. Trying to do everyone else's job, as proven time and time again - in sports and in the rest of the business world - does not work. Period.

Battle of the Blowups: Green vs. Mora

Watching the Dennis Green press conference was pretty entertaining. And the entertainment value grew when I read this morning that Green had replaced his Offensive Coordinator (he's looking for something else within the organization for him) Keith Rowen.

As good as it was on the press conference meltdown scale, it didn't even come close to topping my personal favorite - then Indianapolis Colts Head Coach Jim Mora. His nasally rant was the rant of a generation. While Green's was good, it has a long way to go to approach Mora status. Press conference meltdown immortality hinges on a memorable and mockable catch phrase (i.e. "Playoffs?"). Green's shot might be his "You want to crown 'em, then crown their ass!" It's nice but doesn't get to the point as well as "Playoffs?"



As I was creating this post, I was surfing around to some of my usual favorite reads and saw that The Big Lead was already all over this comparison - actually beat me to it by a full day. They also have pulled the Calipari-Cheney fight out of the archives which isn't in the same category but is worth a look nonetheless.

Dennis Green or Jim Mora: Which Rant Rules? [The Big Lead]
Dennis Green Has Solved the Cardinals' Problems [Kissing Suzy Kobler]

Beware the Digital Underground

In case you missed it, yesterday blogs and 55 Problems fav Deadspin came under fire in an internal ESPN memo to radio affiliates. The memo, which you can see in part here, explained that per "ESPN editorial policy" the use of "underground" sites (read: blogs) and Deadspin in particular as a source of credible information is strongly discouraged. Anything I could possibly say in response to that ridiculous sentiment has already been said and then some in the Deadspin comments for that post. I encourage you to read all of them (currently 313 of them - my favorites were the Digital Underground references).

Anyway, I decided I could contribute to this situation without posting my "take" on the secret police, synergistic, cross-promoting methods of ESPN, by making these wonderful blog warning messages available to bloggers everywhere. I encourage you to download these (animated versions below) and place them on your own sites. I plan on taking extreme pride in my lack of credibility and I hope you do too. Special thanks to 55 Problems contributor Meg-han for the stellar graphics (perfect for the situation).

Coming To You Live From The "Underground" [Deadspin]

Miami is a Joke

Over the years, there have been many instances where either current or former Miami players have gotten in trouble. The brawl on Saturday between Miami and Florida International University is just another instance. 31 players, 13 from Miami and 18 from FIU were suspended. But the ACC is not doing enough to discipline Miami. The game should have been forfeited and players such as safety Brandon Meriweather and Anthony Reddick should be dismissed. Reddick, who was suspended indefinitley for swinging his helmet like a weapon at FIU players, could have killed someone. Merriweather has had legal issues before when he fired shots at someone who shot at a teammate of his.

Larry Coker should be fired for losing control of the program; remember, back in January, Miami and LSU were invovled in a brawl after Miami was trounced in the Peach Bowl. Coker also recruited Willie Williams who does not attend the school anymore after being dismissed; Williams had an extensive criminal record. At the beginning of the season, wide reciever Ryan Moore and tailback Tyrone Moss were among the many suspended for incidents. Moore was suspended and has not played in any games this year after an altercation with a female on campus. Moss was suspended for violating "team policy."

Back in 2005, a 2-year-old recording surfaced on the internet, a rap that was profanity-laced and insults women and minorities. "A group calling itself the 7th Floor Crew - the name reportedly comes from the seventh floor of the Mahoney Residential College, campus housing at Miami - made a recording referencing multiple acts of group sex, derogatory terms for women and minorities and dozens of curse words that lasts approximately 9 minutes. School officials say the song was recorded two years ago, but that seems to offer little solace." (espn.com)

It is known that many football players lived on the 7th floor of that dorm.
Players such as Michael Irvin and Sean Taylor have come out of Miami and had NFL careers filled with run-ins with the law. Taylor was arrested in 2004 for a DUI and again in 2005 for aggravated assault with a firearm. In the 2006 NFL playoffs, he spit in a player's face and was fined. Michael Irvin has had drug problems and was at one point arrested for cocaine possesion along with possesion of other drugs.

It is unclear why Coker has not been fired even after all of the issues he has had with the program. Maybe they should Hire Joe Girardi to whip the players into shape...

One More Prediction for this Weekend

Bias known, I am a diehard Auburn fan. That said, historically, when the underdog, Auburn has performed brilliantly.

Prediction:
With a home night game and coming off an embarrassing loss to Arkansas and national chants of "Over-rated," Auburn will bounce back with a win against a self-infatuated Gators team.

Auburn 24, Florida 17

What do you say Meg-han? $20 on who wins??

Please weigh in.

Thinking About Lidle

There isn't much to say about Cory Lidle's death that hasn't already been said 100 times over on every news / sports / entertainment outlet. I hurt for his family, especially his kid, and to a lesser extent, the Yankees organization which is dealing with a very real loss in the most haunting fashion. I also think about the other "anonymous" people who were killed and I hope their loved ones know that people have them in their thoughts even though they weren't professional athletes.

But there is one thing my mind keeps coming back to that really has very little to do with this accident or Lidle's death. Lidle was a "scab" because he wanted to play baseball a decade ago when the players' union went on strike. I don't think I'm prepared to get into a discussion on if unions are a good or bad thing. My sense is that they are good, that they protect a group of people who have very little power and influence individually. When I say that, I'm thinking of carpetners or steel workers.

Baseball players need a union too. I mean, NFL players could really use one (you go, Bryant Gumbel!). The baseball players union is often identified as the most powerful union in sports and there was a time when its existence was absolutely necessary. But by the time Lidle crossed the line, the union was fighting basically to make sure anybody who made a major league roster would be a millionaire, that the economics of baseball would be forever screwed up (no salary cap - ask the NHL how that worked out for them), and so their players good juice and speed their way to record-breaking home run numbers. Hardly a noble fight in my opnion.

Because Lidle was a replacement player he, along with about a dozen other major leaguers (Cowboy Kevin Millar among them), were never permitted to join the union. Fine. But as recently as this summer, after Lidle made negative comments about his former team, the "scab" tag was thrown out by Arthur Rhodes.

It was 13 years ago. Who knows if Lidle regretted crossing the line. He may have if for no other reason than the pounds of shit he had to take over the years. But again, it was 13 years ago. How many people would like to be judged based on one event 13 years prior? Lidle was following his dream to play professional baseball. He eventually made it to the big leagues and was a good enough pitcher that he was always wanted - he played for seven teams and was involved in two midseason deals - over his nine professional seasons.

Shouldn't his consistiency, accomplishments, and skills have been enough for him to shed the "scab" tag? I think it's time to let it go.

R.I.P. Cory Lidle.

Is Steinbrenner Retarded?

Each of the last several autumns in Boston, there is one day when the city breathes a collective sigh of relief . . . the day the New York Yankees are eliminated from the postseason. That may seem like sour grapes to some - the Sox were eliminated several weeks before on the heels of a miserable August and only slightly better September after all - but it's more about not having listen to talk of a 27th World Championship. At least for one more year.

Now that I've had a few days to reflect on the Tigers' three straight victories to knock the Yankees out, I'm a bit shocked that we all didn't see this coming a mile away. And the even better question is: Why didn't Steinbrenner, for all his supposed business savvy, see it coming?

You've all met this person somewhere along the way in your lives. The person who gains status - or thinks they do - by spending more than everyone else. The attitude of "I paid more, therefore it must be better." Well, that's the Yankees.

I know people chuckle when the Red Sox say that they can't compete financially with the Yankees. That seems like a ridiculous sentiment coming from the team with the second highest payroll in baseball. But think about it another way . . . the difference between the Yankees and Red Sox payrolls (approximately $200M to $130M) is several times larger than the difference between the Red Sox and the next highest team. Even though the Red Sox are out-spending 28 teams, the Yankees are spending more than 50% more to field their team.

And a scary-looking team it was. Current or former all stars in every spot in the line up. Hitting at he top of the order Derek Jeter hit .343. At the bottom of the order Robinson Cano hit .342. In the middle they had the rejuvenated Jason Giambi (I'm sure he's clean now) hit 37 HR and Alex Rodriguez, a player who by all accounts has experienced a horrific, half-season-long slump, somehow managed to hit 35 HR, drive in 121 RBI and post a .914 OPS. And don't forget Jesus turned Judas Johnny Damon, who hit a career-high 24 HRs.

And yet they lost three straight games to a Tigers team that did everything they could to erase the gigantic lead they had built up. How can that be?

Well, here's the thing, King George spends a lot of money but he spends it as if it is in limitless supply. And when you do that, you might get the player you want, but you don't get good value on those players. Think about how the Yankees have been going about their business. They identify established superstars and then out-bid the competition - occasionally only bidding with themselves. A perfect example is Damon, who they were able to sign because they offered him more years than the Red Sox did. That's fine for one or two players who you may feel are that missing piece, but the Yankees do that a lot.

Aside from the expense of this tactic, the Yankees are also suffering because they are bringing players who are on their way down performance-wise rather than on their way up. You can say what you want about Josh Beckett's difficult first season in a Red Sox uniform but I don't think there is a reasonable baseball mind out there who doesn't believe that his best years are ahead of him. On the other hand, how many people expected the 40+ Randy Johnson to be as good or better than he was earlier in his career.

Think if it were real estate. How would you feel if you bought a house at a price that equated to $200 per square foot only to find out that everyone else in the neighborhood paid about $120 per square foot? You'd feel like you got screwed and no one would accuse you of being a business genius. Yet year after year, that is exactly what Steinbrenner does - or rather forces an otherwise competent General Manager, Brian Cashman, to do - all the while being lauded for how much he wants to win.

As if that weren't enough, the Yankees also seem to over-spend in the wrong place. Their star-studded lineup averaged 5.7 runs per game this season. I'm sure there is a sabermatician out there somewhere who could give me a formula for this but I can't imagine that it would have cost them even five victories had they average 5 runs a game (120 runs less for the season). And if they had reappropriated the money and improved their pitching, I suspect they would have won even more games by reducing their team ERA by 0.25 runs per game.


The thing that I don't understand is how the Yankees could have lived the formula for success and then suddenly forgotten it. Between 1996 and 2000, the Yankees won four out of five World Series with home-grown talent like Jeter, Bernie Williams, Jorge Posada (who, if Kenmore Square t-shirts are to be believed, "smells like pee"), Mariano Rivera, Ramiro Mendoza, and consummate team players like Scott Brosious and Tino Martinez. They made it look easy . . . keep your core of young players together and bring in veterans and SOME superstars to help them along. Those teams were automatic.

But somewhere along the line it's as if Steinbrenner traveled back in time to his old meddling ways and his organization has paid the price. As a Red Sox fan, I love it. I really loved watching my team embarrass the Yankees and win the series in 2004, but watching the Yankees try to figure out how they lost is a more than adequate offseason diversion.

It seems clear as day now. If the Yankees are to get back to POSTSEASON prominence, Steinbrenner needs to stay the hell out of the way and let his baseball people do their jobs. I guess the good news for Yankee Haters everywhere is that seems like the most unlikely scenario.

Enjoy the ALCS, George. Nice turtleneck.

Garciaparra Returns To Form

As a Red Sox fan, I was a big fan of Nomar Garciaparra in the glory years of 1997-2000. And after he got hurt - and before I was suspicious of his ripped Sports Illustrated cover appearance - I viewed his return to the Sox as the baseball messiah coming back to lead his charges.

Of course, it didn't really work out that way. Instead his wrist injury robbed him of some of the thunder in his historically quick bat. In 1999 and 2000, undeniably his best seasons, Nomar had an OPS (on baase + slugging percentages) of 1.021 and 1.033, respectively. After returning from injury in 2002 and 2003, his OPS was .880 and .869, respectively (despite averaging 26 HR and 112 RBI in those two seasons). Even worse for him, the Sox front office regime change placed immense value on plate patience and on base percentage - something Nomie wasn't known for - and many of the Fenway Faithful followed suit. His penchant for swinging at the first pitch (and popping up), regardless of how good it was, earned him the not-so-flattering nickname "Garciapopup." If you read Feeding The Monster, you are well aware of the ensuing sour contract talks, the paranoia, the sulking, and if resident jackass Dan Shaughnessey is to be believed, the moment the Red Sox decided to trade Nomar (as if it hadn't been a long and agonizing decision mulled for weeks and months before it happened) in 2004.

Of course, the fall just continued for Nomar after that. His numbers were decent enough but he couldn't stay on the field with the Cubs and they let him walk after 2005 was over. It got so bad that Nomar had to do a sales job to even get signed by the Dodgers this season.

Well, count me among the happy ones when Nomar came out swinging this year. I remember looking at the boxscores one day in June and seeing that he was hitting .360-something - a region he had not reached since his sick 2000 season - and delivering clutch hit after clutch hit. "Good for him," I thought. And I'm sure I wasn't alone in the Boston area. I think lots of people missed the old Nomar and had a soft spot for him and the Sox West team Dodgers GM Ned Colleti had assembled. Nomar fought some nagging injuries as the season progressed, playing in 122 games, and his April, May and June were demonstratively better than his July, August and September. But overall, the numbers were strong - .303 batting average, 20 HR, 93 RBI and a very impressive 42 walks against just 30 strikeouts. Guys who play regularly (500 plate appearances) don't strike out just 30 times in a season anymore. Joe Dimaggio did it (he struck out 13 times in 617 plate appearances in 1941 - that guy didn't stink) but that's pretty good company. In 2006, no major league player with at least 500 plate apperances struck out as few times as Nomar and only Juan Pierre struck out less frequently (Ks per PA).

Fast forward to Game 1 of the NLDS in Shea Stadium this evening. Trailing, 6-4, going into the 9th, the Dodgers manage to get a run off barely-hittable Mets closer Billy Wagner. With two out and a runner on second, Nomar has a chance to tie the game. I sat up to watch it.

Wagner fired two wicked fastballs past him to get out to an 0-2 count. At least Nomar hadn't wildly swung at the first pitch right? Maybe he is a different, more disciplined hitter now.

The third pitch is going nearly 100 mph toward the outside corner and Nomar manages to foul it off. Still has that bat speed.

The next pitch was a breaking ball (still pretty hard coming out of Wagner's hand) up near his head. Ball one. I've seen him swing - and hit those. ESPN cuts to manager Forrest Gump chewing on his tongue or whatever the hell he does (I'm not bitter, why do you ask?).

The fifth pitch is low. Didn't miss by much. The count is 2-2. Is he waiting for his pitch? Could he actually walk?

A quick aside . . . Red Sox fans are feeling pretty miserable these days. Our team went from first place to out of it in about a week. August was the worst month by a decent team that I can remember. And despite all that, there was some uncharacteristic optimism in The Nation when Varitek and Nixon came back and they started to win a little in September. Well, it didn't last and with no postseason baseball in Boston, there is a void. Nomar could fill that void for us. We could root for him - our old homey, Nomie - and his Dodgers.

This is getting exciting. Come on Nomar, lace one of those patented gap doubles and tie this thing.

Wagner's next pitch bounced in front of the plate.

Garciaparra swung.

He missed. Game over.

I think Nomar is back . . . it's just not the version I thought it was.

TO Needs a TO

OK, let's talk about this Terrell Owens suicide thing. . . Deadspin wrapped up today's TO Circus with an excellent post today that asked the real Kim Etheredge to please stand up. Essentially, it asks who is lying: the friend and colleague who called 911 terrified that Owens was trying to kill himself or the PR assassin who denied everything and returned to the "reaction to medication" story when the camera lights are on.

I'll be the first to admit that I don't know everything - or even one damn thing - but when I look at it in that light, I can't see any possibility other than that Owens actually tried to kill himself. At the minimum, he was extremely convincing to someone who must know him, his antics, and his moods - and how to spin them - extremely well.

Suicide is a scary topic. Most people have probably been touched by it in some way - either knowing someone who killed themselves - or tried to - or because they have had their own feelings of wanting to escape (by a show of hands, how many of you have been feeling bad enough about your life that you've considered driving off the side of the road - the feeling of knowing you could do it and there would be no going back . . . for the record, my hand is raised). And people look at athletes now and think they have it all - money, fame, freakish athletic talent - and wish they could have just a sliver of that life. How much better would that be than the job that doesn't pay you what you deserve, the house you can't really afford? Owens has all that and he's unhappy? Bullshit.

Well, the fact is, depression and suicidal thoughts have nothing with money or fame or freakish athletic talents. I mean, sure, TO could have not been such a huge dick all these years (I'm an Eagles fan, FYI), but it can't be easy having everyone hate your guts. It is socially acceptable to say TO is a selfish athlete who represents everything that is wrong with sports today. Even if it's true - they say suicide is a selfish act - Is that easy to hear about yourself? Blasted on ESPN and ESPN 2, ESPN Radio, ESPN Mobile, and ESPN The Magazine (and the Ocho). Knowing ESPN it's probably even in the small print on the back of the ESPN credit card (man those fuckers are getting annoying with their cross-promoting aren't they?).

So even though suicide is a sensitive and even painful topic, let's be honest . . . there are ways in which you can kill yourself without a doubt, and ways you can try to kill yourself. People who want to be dead jump off bridges, hang themselves, or put bullets in their brains. People who want attention - and maybe are willing to die to get it - take lots of pills.

There. I said it. I think - once again - TO is trying to get attention. I may come across as a cynic (in this post and in real life) but generally speaking, I think I'm a pretty positive person. I don't think that TO staged a suicide attempt to get attention. But I do think getting attention was the goal, not dying. Some may say he loves himself too much to kill himself. I don't think that's quite it. I think he feels pretty good about himself, but it seems pretty clear to me that he needs a lot of people agreeing with him before he'll really believe it.

I'm not going to get to hung up on specifics - just going on recollection here - but when did it start? In San Francisco, Owens wanted to prove he was no one's bitch, not even the greatest receiver of all time and future Dancing with the Stars celebrity - Jerry Rice - was better than him. Then after he practically ran the San Francisco treat out of town - with his talent, to be fair - any ball not thrown to him was a problem. He was a great player then and you gameplan around your superstars. He had 20 catches in a game - 20! But that wasn't enough validation for him either. He wants out of San Fran so he argues with his coach in front of the cameras and calls his QB gay (Pick your joke here . . . A) hey, he was bound to be right one of the times he opened his mouth or B) Takes one to know one). He openly lobbies for a trade to the Eagles (as do various Eagles players - McNabb included . . . think he regrets that?) and when he gets traded to Baltimore he cries foul claiming contract irregularities. Frankly, he's lucky that Ray Lewis' entourage didn't stab him over that ordeal. That opens the doors for a trade to Philly where everything is right with the world, right?

Honestly, it seemed so. He was amazing that first season until he got hurt. Then the Eagles kept winning and when Owens came back for the Super Bowl, he was amazing again (I'm not prepared to go into the whole "what was up with McNabb?" thing here). And to this point TO's antics to this point were garden variety pompous athlete stuff. Yeah, he was bad, but he wasn't any worse that anyone else.

Enter Drew Rosenhaus.

I'm not going to go all Bryant Gumble on yo' ass but I will admit that NFL contracts heavily favor the team/owners. Players are expected to honor their contracts while teams routinely cut players before having to pay them on their back-ended deals. Truth be told, I sometimes find myself conflicted when players (like Dieon Branch) hold out for more money, and I am definitely more sympathetic to those who have attained superstar status while earning the league minimum or close to it (like Branch).

But Owens had just got his big contract the year before and now it wasn't big enough. Why? Drew Rosenhaus.

Listen, I loved Jerry Maguire so I'm not going to sit here and say all sports agents are scum. I mean, crazy Tom Cruise was Rod Tidwell's Ambassador of Kwan even if he was just pretending. But even excusing Rosenhaus of his reputation, the whole situation stunk from the minute he arrived on the scene.

Here's the problem: Rosenhaus didn't get paid a dime on the contract Owens already had.

So Rosenhaus arrives and TO wants a new contract. And he says horrible things about his quarterback and nice things about Brett Farve (you'd think Favre would have given TO pointers on the whole abusing painkillers thing). And he kicks and screams and acts like an ass - no longer a garden variety ass - until he gets himself kicked out of Philly. Interesting strategy.

Rosenhaus still hasn't been paid at this point.

So TO goes to the Cowboys. Now Rosenhaus has been paid. Mission accomplished right?

Well, Bill Parcells is a lot of things but one this he isn't is dumb. He doesn't want TO so when the owner trumps him, I'm sure he resolved to stay the hell out of it. Conventional wisdom was that TO would have something to prove (didn't he always) and he would blow up and be a dominant force he was in preceding years but time 10 because he had been disrespected.

Instead he's injured all preseason. He's not the first vet to spend preseason on the bike to avoid two-a-days in August so we can give him a pass on that. But when it comes time to play, TO looks so good he makes Drew Bledsoe look good (until he demonstrates his inability to throw to the sideline and is picked off on the same throw for about the 2000th time). Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on who you cheer for), he breaks his finger in the process.

Did Owens tried to kill himself because he broke his finger? Seems unlikely.

Did he try to kill himself because he's eclipsing Barry Bonds as the most hated man in sports? Seems more likely.

And who's fault is that. TO is a selfish, me-first asshole, so he certainly must be held accountable for that. But Drew Rosenhaus . . . he did what few defensive backs have been able to do over the past decade - he shutdown Terrell Owens - all for the love of money.

What an asshole.